Over a year ago, I stumbled upon Nora on Instagram and my goodness!–she is one heck of a lady who is equal parts brilliant, witty, deep, vulnerable, and compassionate. I ended up scrolling all the way back to her very first post in efforts to piece together her joys (babies!) and heartaches (losing her husband to brain cancer). I was unclear how this person was still standing. Her vulnerability and openness about her personal losses really hit me. Upon learning she was publishing a book, I firmly decided I would order it as soon as it was released. WELL, it’s been exactly one full year since it was published: I’ve seen it at Barnes & Nobles, at public libraries, at various bookstores – and still, I have yet to place the order. Why? Grief.
Back in November, I visited my Acupuncturist for a pretty routine tune-up. Among many things discussed, my Acupuncturist highlighted two Chakras in particular, which are worth mentioning here for the sake of this blog. My Crown Chakra (highest connection spiritually) was flowing freely and strongly in tune with an afterlife realm. For me, this made sense because I was coming up on both my birthday and the anniversary of outliving my birth mother by 10 years. At the same time, my Throat Chakra (ability to communication, self expression and truth) was pretty blocked. She warned that this had to do with not working through grief and while Chakras ebb and flow with being temporarily blocked, it can be problematic if sustained over a long period of time. So, I think the world has been trying to push me in the direction of dealing with grief.
Two weekends ago, I sat down to read the 9-page article titled, “The Geography of Sorrow” by Francis Weller. Instead of cruising through an uncomfortable topic, I decided to take my time so I could process and be present. I read half of the article on the first night and finished the rest of it on the second night. Here’s a few nuggets I am currently walking away with:
- The human race has moved away from the deep expressions of grief that are so important for us to process in order to not go crazy.
- Grief has become a private mourning, rarely exposed in a public arena (which is how grief used to processed for much of human history).
- Grief is an old expression that has been repressed in many ways in our society.
- We no longer dwell in communities that allow us to rest in grief – the deep trust of a community that sees you through day in and day out is no longer available in the same capacity without building those intentional communities.
- The more I practice at looking at my grief in a wholesome manner – without shame or the need to ‘fix’ it – the easier it will be to move through my system. In the words of Kahlil Gibran: “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
Within the article, it was referenced that Weller has a book. As I was sharing about my desire to step into looking at grief and my relationship to it while having tea with a close family friend/mentor, she stood up and went to pull a book off the shelf. Smiling, she slid his book across the table. Again, I think the universe is trying to tell me something – am I willing to listen?
PS: In case you didn’t fall in love with Nora just yet, she also started a podcast to discuss those hard things. “Terrible, (Thanks for Asking)” is the fitting title of this podcast and can be found here.
By: Maria Engels
